Last night before bed …
“Those antsy moments, the hollow spaces engulfed with desire, with yearning, when you want something that’s not there. You don’t even know what you want – but you are ready to fill yourself up with anything … is exactly where to pause … stop. Don’t reach for that bottle. Don’t send that message. Don’t fill the uncomfortableness with anything other than presence. If you do, if you sit with yourself and observe and feel without acting … the world will deliver something into your lap that is greater, wilder, more incredible than you can imagine. Yes. Good things come to those who wait. I promise, you.”
Around 1am a clattering sound woke me up. Looked out the window and saw a giant black bear in my herb garden, as if to say, “Hello. It is great, wild, incredible me.”
I looked up the Bear spirit animal meaning this morning, after examining his foot and paw prints. Its core meaning is Strength. Pulled my tarot card of the day. Of course, it was Strength. 😀
Strength card from Tarot of the Haunted House
I’m leading a Shadow Self Full Moon Tarot Workshop this weekend. The significance of the elegant Bear Shadow moving across my lawn in moonlight like a whale gliding through the ocean and slipping into darkness is not lost on me. It takes Strength to be honest with yourself.
Shadow Work is actively exploring the darkest parts of yourself. Uncovering behaviors, desires and actions you’d rather avoid and ignore. We move through life justifying our actions because we want to believe we are good and right. Think of the craziest, most destructive person you know. Someone whose behavior make you think, “How do they live with themselves? How can they think what they do is ok? ” It makes sense to them because they can justify what they do. We all do it. None of us are exempt.
Shadow Work is not easy but it is essential. With Shadow comes Fear. We Fear what we Desire. They are two sides of the same coin. We can examine our Shadow and then move on to tackle Fear. Integrating Fear, not banishing or fighting it, is essential. Healthy Fear keeps us safe and alive. We just don’t want Fear ruling our lives or informing what we do.
We are living in a tumultuous moment of time; female reproductive rights, immigrant and children’s rights, ALL human rights, and the environment is literally being destroyed before our eyes. We need to examine our Shadow Selves and negotiate Fear based behavior more than ever. Myself included.
Healing the world begins with healing ourselves.
Make magic and cast your cards well.
The Moon card from Tarot of the Haunted House