What to do when you lose your deck . . .
Halloween night. There I was draped in my Venetian Masquerade Costume, feather eyelashes, stiletto boots and black sparkling lips. I was off to read Tarot for fans at a Weezer concert in Hammerstein Ballroom and couldn’t have been more excited.
I reached for my Tarot bag only to find . . . I couldn’t find it. Panicking, I raced to my bookshelf for a suitable deck but not much of a deck collector, I had little to choose from. I settled for the Universal Tarot and made the best of my evening.
Still, I feel as if part of me is missing . . .
A Tarot deck is to a reader what the instrument is to the musician. The archetypes, themes and structure of Tarot is universal, can be found in any deck, yet the deck I lost was the one I learned to read with.
The Halloween deck, with its quirky ghosts and plump pumpkins, captured my imagination while honing my Tarot craft. Years ago, late into the night, I’d read for the girls I worked with after our shifts ended. Practice makes perfect and an army of waitresses and bartenders made for a lovely audience while I learned the art of Tarot. Tears shed, laughter shared, wishes, dreams foretold, as well as my own meditation and study cast upon these cards.
My friend, Sean Smith, suggested the cards were not lost. He said the cards left me because they held nothing left to teach me. He’s right.
I’m searching for a new deck and although it feels uncomfortable, I suppose growth and change is never very comfy cozy. If it were, none of us would have a problem adapting to the curveballs life tosses at us.
The weeks suspended between Halloween and Christmas hold the darkest hours of the year. I’ll light some candles and perform a ritual to thank my departed cards. Then, I’ll welcome the unknown deck coming my way. I’ll remember this whole experience is a greater metaphor for life. When we are able to let go of the things that feel so comfortable, so known, we are more capable of letting change in. And, like you, there is so much more I want to experience, manifest and create.
A wicked pack of cards is heading my way though I can’t quite see it. When it arrives, I’ll be waiting . . . with open arms.
Have you ever lost your deck? What did you do?